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Brooklyn Nine-Nine wasn’t on the air for Halloween this year. There was no Heist. Until they moved it to Cinco de Mayo! Let’s break down the top five favorites!
There are a couple of milestones to every season of Brooklyn Nine-Nine. There’s always a visit from Pontiac Bandit (and family), a mortal threat to the squad that often carries over to the next season, and the Heist.
Let us recall the humble origins of this Halloween tradition. In its original form, the Heist was between Jake (Andy Samberg) and Captain Holt (Andre Braugher). Sparked by watching a bank robber in a banana costume get stuck in a revolving door, Jake declares that no one would ever be able to catch him if he became a bandit. Captain Holt guarantees that Jake would be caught. Thus spawned the Heist.
The rules and participants may change, but some parts of the Heist are locked-in essentials. A designated object must be in your possession by midnight on Halloween in order to obtain the title of World’s Smartest Human/Genius.
No one won last year’s Heist. Okay. Bill (Winston Story), the Boyle look-a-like and part-time sex-worker, kind of won tangentially. But the real winner’s were Jake and Amy (Melissa Fumero) who got engaged at the end of the episode.
I had given up hope on a Heist this season. But, I was pleasantly surprised to find out the Heist was returning as a way to take Terry’s mind off of his Lieutenant’s exam. Here are my top five favorites to win Cinco de Mayo!
5. Hitchcock and Scully
This is the obvious choice. Cinco de Mayo is a holiday that celebrates the victory of the Mexican Army over the French Army in 1862. In the United States, the holiday is wildly appropriated as Mexican Independence Day and used as an excuse to be day drunk on sidewalks.
Hitchcock (Dirk Blocker) and Scully (Joel McKinnon Miller) were stud detectives in the saxophone soundtrack days of the 1980s. They successfully hid a mob informer from death by making her the proprietor of Wing Sluts. Since then, they wildly appropriate the concept of being shoddy police detectives and use it to avoid almost all work. No. None of that makes any sense. But this is Flat Top and the Mad Man, folks. That’s just how the wing sauce marinates.
Also, you know, it’s two old white dudes living their best, woefully oblivious lives. Yeah. That’s a strong reason, right there. For real. Plus, don’t count out the bait and switch factor. Another person or team could use Hitchcock and Scully as a decoy only to be back-stabbed by the dynamic duo. Deep down, we all root for them. Right? Right?!
The bottom line is: don’t count the boys out. They may not even know they’re playing, but they have a good shot to win.
4. Bill from NutriBoom
Bill has become a regular player in the Heist. He may or may not have actually won last year’s Heist. Other, more important, storylines were going on last Halloween. The jack-of-all-heists is usually brought in as a contractor by Jake and Charles (Joe Lo Truglio). He may end up helping one or all of the interested parties once again this year. That is always on the table.
But, let’s not forget NutriBoom. Last year, Bill put certain levels of his services behind a paywall. Jake and Charles had to sign an 85-year contract to sell NutriBoom vitamins. It’s clearly a pyramid scheme. When Jake and Charles try to get out of the contract, Charles goes undercover as Bill. Although the sting doesn’t work, everyone now believes Charles is Bill. I know they look eerily the same, but maybe Bill feels alienated.
Also, I’m sure safety precautions at NutriBoom probably tightened to a stranglehold after the sting. Customers may have legitimately left. This all may be making life harder for Bill. What’s one insignificant way to get back at the man? Winning the Heist. He either opts in on his own or double crosses someone in the squad. This could be part of the Hitchcock and Scully theory.
3. Charles
Charles? Boyle?! I know. This is shocking. The truest blue buddy of Jake Peralta may finally try to win the title on his own. I don’t think it will be to spite or spurn the squad. I mean, that’s completely plausible, but would more than likely end with Charles helping Jake in some way.
No. I think Charles may be motivated by something that Nikolaj says. In Charles’ world that could literally be anything up to and including “Good morning, Daddy! I love you!” Perhaps a bully told Nikolaj that his daddy looked dumb because he is dumb and it gets into Charles’ head. Or, maybe Charles was unable to help Nikolaj with some homework that even Hitchcock and Scully seem to be able to answer.
While everyone is off trying to win the title of World’s Smartest Human/Genius for bragging rights, Charles may try to win it to prove to Nikolaj that he is a smart dad. Well, it’s Charles. He’s going to take this to heart and try to win to prove that he is simply able to keep being Nikolaj’s dad.
Of course, Charles will learn that he’s actually an awesome dad that is totally capable of nurturing and raising a smart, happy man. We got evidence of that in last week’s “Return of the King.” Once Charles makes this realization, Jake will try to steal the Heist because the Heist is a cold, cold game.
2. Rosa
Rosa (Stephanie Beatriz) has always been a major player in the Heist. Her ballerina background affords her the ability to display the pretty angelic ability to tumble through small areas in order to steal the goal. It happens every heist. After “Ticking Clocks,” we know that Rosa is looking to spend more time with Jocelyn (Cameron Esposito). She may use this to say that she’s not participating in this year’s Heist.
Only. She is! After leaving the squad to spend an evening with Jocelyn, Rosa will use her cat burglar leaping abilities to regain entry to the squad. Once in she will work her way through the walls, corridors, and likely plumbing structure in order to capture the goal. The deeper into the building she gets, the more likely it is that she encounters Hitchcock and Scully, who like to walk through the interior walls in search of food stashes.
Jocelyn will be in on it. She’ll show up and say that Rosa never came home as a way to set-up a diversion and to alert keen Heisters that she’s likely in the building. It’s a risk, but what if her parents also show up! That’s right! The family is all back together and finally moving into the late 20th century in order to fully accept their daughter. It’s heartwarming. And, it will create confusion that will help Rosa achieve the crown of World’s Smartest Human/Genius.
1. Terry
Based on this picture of Terry (Terry Crews), he may actually be the goal of the 2019 Brooklyn Nine-Nine Heist. That’s a game-changer. It would definitely take his mind off his Lieutenant’s exam. It would also make Gina (Chelsea Peretti) want to come back for a second week to finally chase the prize that she’s always wanted.
But, also based on this picture, Jake could be helping Terry try to win the Heist. Jake has won before and he really just wants to help his Sarge feel good during a stressful time. It’s a total Jake move. But, what if the entire squad tries to help Terry win to make him feel better? Everyone is sabotaging and paying off Bill’s trying to achieve the same goal: making Terry feel better.
It’s a total Nine-Nine thing to do. But, when Terry finds out, he feels bad. If he can’t win the Heist on his own, how can he pass the Lieutenant’s exam? When everyone looks at the floor and feels bad about themselves, Terry will announce that he passed the Lieutenant’s exam. Nine-Nine! This would be the best outcome for everyone and continue last year’s theme of something much bigger happening during the Heist.
In the credits/outro, Jake will be telling Amy (Melissa Fumero) how awesome it is that Terry is now a Lieutenant. There might be some discussion that there’s only one opening for that role at the squad. Amy will tell Jake that she also took and passed the Lieutenant’s exam. Nine-Nine! But, what does this mean for Jake and Amy!