8/23/18: Christopher Robin: Hard. Core. Pooh.

Christopher Robin is a hardcore movie, folks.

There’s a lot you can look past as mamby pamby, but I’d ask that you don’t. The movie opens with the day that young Christopher Robin goes off to boarding school. He doesn’t have an easy go of life afterwards, but that’s little in comparison to what happens to Pooh and his friends. They’re basically damned to live a life where they never progress in their own timelines and it’s always cloudy unless Christopher Robin comes to play. And he’s gone for like 20 years. It’s like LOST, except the castaways are the reject fan bois that hated the show’sending but are unable to stop watching it.

Hufaflumps and Woosels are real. They’re more commonly known as clinical depression and bipolar disorder. 

Brad Garrett voices Eeyore. He evokes the desperation and sadness he displayed as Robert in Every Body Loves Raymond. I’ve never been more convinced that Eeyore wants to die.
I’m being completely on the level when I say I loved this movie and think it’s great. It just so happens to be absolutely bonkers. People hurt each other emotionally and it made me cry a few times.

The second half of the movie is more light spirited and fun, but, man alive. You really go through a roller coaster of emotions in this one. Star Wars fans may notice the reunion of Obi-Wan Kenobi and Sio Bibble towards the end of the movie. That was a nice touch to an already out there speech about worker’s rights and the ability to take paid holiday.

I powerful recommend this movie. The CGI is adorable, the voice work is excellent (Yup, that’s Peter Capaldi as Rabbit), and the core story has a lot of heart. 

I’m honestly not sure if Pooh and Christopher Robin survived the end of the movie. That’s kind of left up for interpretation. But this is quality fun for the whole family.

8/22/18: Crazy Rich Asians: You'll Ugly Cry

Go see Crazy Rich Asians. It’s not another rom com. This has real emotions and takes real turns. There are zero overwrought, drawn out red herrings.

The movie is about a couple growing closer at someone else’s wedding. So, it’s not a spoiler alert to say: If you do not cry at this wedding, there may be no hope for you. I cried. I reached out for the hand of the person I came with. There was no one there. Because I didn’t come with anybody. I’ve never been on a movie date. I know. I’m 37. That’s crazy. But, meanwhile, THAT’S how deep in your feelings you’ll get.

Also, Awkwafina needs her own movie. She played her role in Ocean’s 8 with sniper precision. She’s great, again, here.

In closing, major props to the 3 old white dudes in the bathroom after the movie. One guy goes, “Wow. That’s...not what I expected.” And then he did the white guy thing where he talked about the plausibility of building architecture. Like, thank you for staying on brand and showing me what I want to avoid becoming as I grow older. Thanks. So. Much. 
#CrazyRichAsians #TeamAstrid #Bernard

7/7/18: Sorry to Bother You: This is Satire

Go see this movie. This is satire. This is comedy. This is creativity. #SorryToBotherYou

6/25/18: Luke Cage Season 2: Not a Movie, but His Name is Also Luke

Luke Cage Season 2.

Overall: I liked it a lot. 

The Bad: The season would play better if you watched 1 episode per week. It’s bingeable, for sure. But, there are relentless recaps in the dialogue. Things that take 55 full minutes to resolve in one episode are completely retconned in the teaser for the next ep. Also, Luke pops real fast. I understand that’s the arc they wanted to tell. The sooner you get in, the better. But, the surrounding dialogue didn’t support the attitude change as much as it seemed to explain it to the audience. “Hey. We’re going to do this thing. Here’s why. Ok?”

The Good: I love the celebration of the corny. Luke is corny, Foggy is corny, Danny Rand is corny. Even some of the action set pieces are corny. On purpose. It gets called out. I loved it.
John McIver/Bushmaster is a villain with a just cause. And his war with Mariah set the stage for Alfre Woodard to dazzle as a scorched earth crime boss. She deserves an Emmy nod for a scene where she explains her family’s past in one of the most restrained, two person scenes you’ll ever see in the MCU. 

Misty Knight could easily carry a 6-8 ep season of her own. It doesn’t need to be a backstory. It’d be more fun to watch her character move forward. 

There is a lot of blood and collateral damage. It’s not gratuitous. When people fight each with guns, people die. It’s just how that works. It’s done to a real, palpable, and stark effect. It fuels Luke’s conflicted final choice.

Ultimately, that is what makes this season so good. All of the characters end up in different places. Some out of growth. Others out of necessity. All of them on uneasy ground. The potential for season 3 is limitless.

6/9/18: First Reformed: This is Fierce

First Reformed. Wow. This is hard core.

Usually, clergy having a crisis of Faith are questioning God. This is deeper than that. This is about a guy who’s questioning if we’ve perverted God’s creation. A guy who is questioning humanity. The best metaphor is that we’ve let Industry eat away at our environment like someone who allows cancer to eat away at their body. This is not an existential crisis for Reverend Holler, played by Ethan Hawke. It’s an exercise in existential dread. This is second only to Melancholia for me. I’d compare this performance by Hawke directly to his performance in the movie Tape. At points, First Reformed is a very restrained 3 person character study. Hawke appears to be in real, emotional pain throughout the movie. That manifests in sadness and incredible cruelty. All of the performances are great and are exactly what they needed to be for this to work. Shout out to Cedric Kyles aka Cedric the Entertainer. He’s not just there for comic relief or parody. His pastor Joel Jefferies is well done and works perfectly. I like this movie a lot. #FirstReformed

6/9/18: Hotel Artemis: This Felt Like a Pilot on HBO

Hotel Artemis. From the title card, complete with copyright date, you know you’re going to see something that’s a homage to a mix of pulp + exploitation + disaster movies of the 1970s. But. You’re not.

There are too many storylines and intersecting character arcs for a 93 minute movie. When they all start to crash together, it gets truly exciting. But then the plug gets pulled. You don’t get to see how most of the fights end. There are just nods to what happened when a character shows up in another scene or, worse, shows up at the very end of the movie. That’s my main complaint. It’s kind of a big one. I did like the movie. But every time you think you’re about to be pulled into something, that something gets dropped. One of the best parts of the movie is that it does not take itself too seriously. It is what it is. I appreciated that. But, it needed to care a little more. It was close to being really fun and almost epic.

6/1/18: Upgrade: Pulpy Sci-Fi at its Best

This is the best sci-fi movie I’ve seen in a minute. It’s original in that it cuts out all of the pointless and confusing exposition. You’re just dropped in this world. It’s easy to acclimate as a viewer. The basic story and arc are kept super simple. That allows for the story, actors, sets, and even the sound design to add so much more. Who knew dripping water could be so grounding? This is not a hopeful film. It’s unnerving in the best ways. And it’s grounded in a legitimate not-so-distant future.

5/24/18: Solo: A Star Wars Story: Fan Fiction AF

I did feel this movie on an emotional level. But there’s no villain. I guess maybe it was the Empire? This was more of a character study than a story. But instead of revisiting chapters in Han’s life, it’s presented as everything that shaped Han happened in a linear, timely manner. Everyone is likable. In different situations everyone we meet would add up to make a killer crew. But character development and plot prevent that.

Also, they try so desperately hard to connect this to the Original Trilogy and Sequel Trilogy. But it retcons the Prequels. It puts an Obi Wan movie in dangerous plot jeopardy. One character is brought back in such a gaudy, over the top fashion that people started to laugh. And one character is a near carbon copy of a character from the MCU. 

See Solo because you’re a completionist or because you want to see a very expensive piece of fan fiction. It’s not a bad movie. It’s just. Awkward.

5/17/18: Dead Pool 2: Serious and Fun FTW

Deadpool 2 is legit. There’s real heart, story, and action. There’s also a great one-liner that encourages you to feel your pain, deal with it, and then get over that shit. The cameos made me very happy. And, yes, those are the best post credit scenes ever. #deadpool #deadpool2#HelloYukio

3/24/18: Unsane: I Love Creepy AF, Plausible Plots

I like this movie. Not the typical psychosis exploitation film. There’s a woman in peril, but it’s not the hyper sexualized, slasher type. She has some agency. Some. Also, I work in health care. It’s being moved to more of an outpatient model that is for-profit. This made it more creepy for me.

1/21/18: Phantom Thread: BDSM Gets Regal AF

I took time out from watching Star Wars yesterday. I saw The Phantom Thread. It’s like the movie Secretary without the sex parts. It’s pretty intense and features characters that relish putting others in their place. It was fun to see Daniel Day Lewis in a character that was closer to his own voice for the first time in a long time. He still brings all the welled up, tea-kettle whistle inducing emotion we’ve come to expect. At first you wonder how certain tones could be taken in this day and age. But. This isn’t a movie about celebrating restraint and old rules. It’s a character study about a family that Imposes their will on each other and the world around them. Based on that, I enjoyed it. Then I saw #TheLastJedi again. 🤗🤗🤗 #ThePhatomThread #IAmNOTHungry

9/30/17: Flatliners: A Missed Opportunity with a Great Cast

Saw the new Flatliners. It made me a little angry for what could have been. A lot of the emotional depth of the first was missing. The Flatlining was ultra self serving. Some plot lines were never explained, would appear out of nowhere, and were never resolved. I did like the new cast. I would love to see them make a direct sequel to the original. All that said, I’d watch it again.

9/15/17: mother!: OK. So. Yeah. That was like. Yup.

Went to see Mother!
As always, I sat down front. Behind me, there were like 10 or 12 teens. It smelled like they were drinking, but it's ok because they all called their moms before the movie started. 
MOVIE STARTS
MOVIE ENDS
Audience: [....????......]
Teen: What the fuck????!!!
Audience: [Uproarious laughter]

That sums up the movie. 
#Mustafar #DarthVader #OrbitalBones#IBelieveILikedIt

8/3/17: Ingrid Goes West: A Parent's Death Can Drive You Places

Ingrid Goes West. I loved this movie. It's the more grounded companion to Personal Shopper. There are no supernatural components. It's all vividly real. And I identify with a lot of it. I don't have family. My parents are dead. I was my mom's caretaker and watched her die. For years. It's isolating. The isolation feels permanent. And this movie nails that. There was not that much money involved in my situation, but I can see how it would fuel the sadness. This movie has triggers. You will be triggered. I was triggered. And I loved every minute. #IngridGoesWest

4/15/17: Personal Shopper: Dealing with Loss

This is a good movie. Clever, taut, visually appealing. If you've read reviews, they're not lying. It's like 17 different styles. But there's one story and POV that drives it: LOSS. If you've ever dealt with loss and felt trapped by it you will be affected by this movie. I mean, I've never rode a motor bike around France or gotten paid money to travel Europe. But, I've held myself back trying to figure shit out that didn't need to be figured out. I'm a pro at that. I left this movie with a great big smile on my face. That's not a spoiler alert at all. #PersonalShopper #Mediums #OneLoudKnock